One of the closest friends moving away to far away land. A friend who has been the subject of spontaneous PJs over past four years. PJs that has given her obnoxious characters and names, for others to get a quick laugh ! A re-assuring smile ! A familiar comfort. A beautiful presence.
But thats not so gloomy indeed ! She is going to greener pastures. She is going to be happy. That was in her plans... and in her destiny. Happy for her. Although I will miss her.
Now, comes the real tough part.
Small decisions gone wrong. Small decisions that decomposed to stinky guilt. A dream garden that turned out to be thorns for others.. and in turn pokes to my conscience.
A big business blunder. Nothing like the ones' that I usually make.
By afternoon my guts were having the raunchy feeling. I am thinking "Not my kind of day!"
Its midnight now, its still there. A lot less than earlier though. Only symptom left now is insomnia.
This brings me to the topic of coping ! Coping with something stressful, guilt-ridden and deflating.
Observations -
- Told my wife about all that is happening. She listened, quietly.
- Went to the neighbor and asked what he wants - changed my dream plan as per his wish
- Called my boss and said, something is messed up ! and its unforgivable one !
- Stayed home, until kids came home from school. I hardly see them coming back from school. I always see them going to school. By the time, I come home from work, they are asleep.
- Chatted with a few friends
How did all this help reduce the misery I was going through ?
- Communication - with wife, with boss, with neighbor
- Flexibility - To cut my own dreams, plans, expectations
- Support structure - family, kids, friends
- Moreover - a sense of Deja Vu. Is it the first time, I feel this way ? A lot has happened in the past, some more nasty than this date and all of them have passed by ! So, this would pass by too. Matter of hanging in there and faking a smile. Holding on to the cool. Hanging in there !
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