Dasaha ... and beyond !

The "tenth" day is a big day for the rituals.

The entire family gets together. The common Kriya is done in the morning. The eldest son, after the Kriya waits near the river, while the entire extended family, friends, relatives get together and come to the river bank.

None of them would have shaved or cut nails for all those 10 days, nor even gone to temple or done any thing celebratory - including eating food that they like !

They all shave at the river bank. Take a dip and offer water to the soul. Wear new white clothes.

The process finishes around 5PM. It depends on how many close relatives one has. Till that time everyone fasts. Then they eat some food together.

This is the day when the heads, mustache everything of the sons are shaved completely. The Janoi / sacred thread,  changes side to the usual, purified. The lamp is taken off.

The sand on which the lamp is kept, belief goes, when the lamp extinguishes there would be "foot print" of the animal that the soul has gotten in to. The soul after staying up  for 10 days, finds another body.

I remember when my maternal grand father died, the burning lamp drew up the oxygen from the sand and made a picture that looked like a bird foot - and my mom gave up eating chicken for ever.

So, this time before anyone analyzed / imagined any *foot print* I shouted - "none". Its a Moksha  !

And picked up all the sand.


The Eleventh day - some more rituals. More around cooking specific food. But one major change noticed this day in the slokas - instead of addressing the dead as "preta" it changes to "deva".

Meaning the unhappy soul becomes Godly !

The twelveth day -

The mourning family eats the food they like. The official end of the mourning and rituals.
The bones are safely kept inside a small container with OIL, which works as a preserver.

After a year it would have to be put in river Ganges....

"Kriya"

(continuation of the previous post)

Once the cremation is done, the "kriya" starts. The eldest son of the deceased is supposed to follow the "kriya - set of rituals" which as the faith goes, helps the soul rest in peace.

One key Hindu belief is - rebirth !  Soul never dies. The body does. One the soul leaves the body, it can come back to any other body, based on Karma.

The truly complete lives / souls - without any desires left, attain Nirvana / Moksha, which means, those souls never take rebirth.

The kriya in a way is the last ditch attempt at making the soul believe that it had a complete life and there is no desire that was left behind undone ! Which along with prayers to Yama, who keeps account of Karma, should help the soul get moksha.

While the concept is explained, the rituals go like the following.

The eldest son, every day goes to a river bank (or water body like lake / pond), takes a dip in the water, prays the "soul" and "yama", cooks some food on the river bank and offers to the soul. Then takes a bath in the river again.

This goes on for 10 days. Through these days, the eldest son, does not shave, eats a specific boiled food (tasteless are you are supposed to be mourning !! ) ONE time a day, feed a few bramhins each day and give them clothes.

A lamp is kept lighted through all the 10 days. The objective being not to let is go off until the 10th day.

The bones collected from the cremation are kept in a secured place and are prayed as symbolic presence of the soul.

After the days Kriya and after feeding the bramhins in the evening, the son is supposed to sleep on floor right next to the lamp, guiding the flame through the night.

It is certainly physically tiring. But does work as a powerful distractor and helps the mourning family in a way.

Cremation

The people of Odisha take the dead bodies of their beloved one's to "Swargadwara". The name literally translates to "The Gate to Heaven".

Swargadwara is situated right on the sea shore (Bay of Bengal), facing the famous Hindu temple or Lord Jagarnath of Puri.

So cremating a body is not something where a lot of us have prior experience with.

So, while one's dealing with emotions, flash backs, logistic nightmares of carrying the dead body out of crowd of mourning relatives and friends on to suitable vehicle to go to the gate of heaven, one would be thinking about - "What Next ??".

Thankfully, the place needs no experience. There is no user manuals or no boards showing you direction too.

One thing helps. ....

The puff-eyed, un-kept being with the dead body in the boot, is the one who needs the help. Clear, un-mistakable identification. A few of the people who make this a living approach on their own.

They size up the body with their experienced gaze and say - "2 quintal wood" is all you need  and 300 gms of Ghee !!

A priest comes forward, takes note of your caste / Gotra and all.

The first chapter of the final rites start with cremation.

The eldest son of the deceased goes to the sea, takes a dip, gets a pot of water and comes back with the wet cloths.

Once a place is selected, the water is used to sprinkle and clean up / settle the dust in one area. Some fire woods are burnt and a make-shift temporary stove is made to cook porridge (rice + dal) that would be given to the soul (called "Preta").

A sequence of prayers start here which translates to "requesting the dead soul back in to the body" ! A final plea to make the dead alive !

When that and offering of the just cooked porridge ("Pinda") is done, the body is laid on layers of wood. 

The eldest son,  takes a bit of fire and puts it on the face of the body. This is called the "Mukhagni" - fire on the face. At the point, he is not supposed to stay back or look back. Should straight go to the sea, take another dip and go home, while other relatives stay back to make sure the body is cremated completely, collect a few pieces of bone and come back home.

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Note: Swargadwara has a lot of Aghori's. The "cannibals" who eat burning human flesh if any cremation is left un-attended. Aghori's are deeply religious people. They believe there is no worst thing than eating human meat, and once done that, nothing can be considered bad. A form of purification of their soul, and acceptance of everything without being judge-mental like the common people. Pretty profound for me apprehend as of now !

THE Loss !!!

Returning to blogging after a long  while ... but the time was worth spent beside  my ailing father in his last days, followed by his death and the Hindu rituals there after that lasts 13 days.

Just when I was starting the believe that I ve control over my emotions, thoughts - I was proven wrong ! Seriously wrong.

He has been ailing for a while, and one after another body functions were slowly giving up !

A long painful process to watch, let alone go through, eventually comatose, moving to supported life and then death.

So, in that sense it was not any where close to an "un-expected" / "un-timely" death.
It was coming, slowly yet surely ! We all knew it.

In fact, I thought its good in a way ... as it wont shock us !

But, I was wrong. No matter how anticipated it was, the moment doctor said, he is "no more" there was an overwhelming sense of loss. A dreadful void in life ... !

A collage of flashback memories ... !!  And those accumulated moments of guilt, where as a child I failed him in my life.

Its certainly a LOSS that is a chapter in itself in ones life.

What followed the death is 13 days of Hindu rituals (Kriya Karma). I am going to blog about the rituals in details, and hope you wont need to read/know these ever.