Dog Tales ..

One of my very close friends (she lives in the bay area, west coast USA) posted a catching status update on facebook ! Goes like this ..

'Why are Indians in the US scared of pet dogs while they comfortably walk amongst stray dogs in India ? When walking my dog, if I encounter someone of Indian origin, 9 out of 10 times, they either freeze with horrified look on their faces or swiftly move away. Bear in mind I own a toy poodle …"

It was actually thought provoking as this is a behaviour I ve noticed many times earlier myself, but never thought so prominently about it to bring it out for a discussion. May be because I do not own a dog  - I did not take these reactions around me personally. So, it was latent observation but not actionable one !!

I started sorting the "Indian" behavior towards dogs in many buckets (This does not include the people who are comfortably oblivious to any dog - pet or otherwise) .. it may be true for other cultures too, but I ve no right to comment on that ..

First - Those who are afraid of all dogs - Pet or stray ! A minority.

Second - Dog lovers …. Mostly like / love pet dogs and sympathize stray ones - again minority

Third - the kind my friend observed. Those who comfortably walk the streets filled with stray dogs of various breeds and temperament and zero vaccination but make cautious space around other's pet dogs !! Majority by any observation standard for sure.

While chasing this psychology down to the root of it, I had many sets of reasoning and counter reasoning until I stumble up on a root level dis-trust we human beings have towards fellow human beings (not animals).

Stray dogs are free. Out there fighting for their survival every moment. Staying away from motor tyres, protecting their territory, scavenging food from garbage, forming street wise associations, battling the weather etc. Strays are not trained / brain washed by any human being ! Strays are themselves - always ! And with a full agenda related to survival.

While a pet is not so much fighting survival. Does not have a full daily calendar of musts. It gets the food, the walking, the grooming, the petting - has idle time in which it is trained by the human owner of the pet.

So when the majority of the people in the third category show the apprehension towards to pet dogs, they actually sow their dis-trust on the human training given to the pets in their otherwise fulfilled life.

An apprehension towards a fellow human being, the pet owner. Now the potent human thoughts of isolating other human beings, not trusting other human beings, scared of strangers etc. reflect in the dog that has enough idle time.

That makes the pet dog more scary to many people than the stray dogs.

Enter and Return ...

My (just turning an official teen) boy is a programming junkie. He learns on his own from Youtube.
JAVA, Scripting, C - anything you name and keeps doing a few oddball programs whenever he has time.

So, I am used to opening my computer to get voice greetings like "Welcome Mr. .......... Please enjoy your work !"

Or sometimes, a strange looking icon at the middle of the opening screen that says - "Click and all the applications you really use will be open with just that one click".

Many more like that. He never bothers to ask me questions on programming. With plenty of resources on-line, he is pretty much on his own.

However, today he asked me one question. "Why some languages refer the "Enter" key as the "Return" key ?"

At first I did not even understand the question. Then he explained me - Enter means, coming in to something / some place. Return mean going back. Quite opposite English terms used for the same key ?

20 yrs of computer history was replaying in front of me to answer that question.

Return - relatively older term from the line feed printer and punch card days, which came from Return Carriage ! Used to move the cursor back to column ZERO.

Enter - Newer term. In newer era of computing, Input text boxes ask for strings to be entered. In most new apps Enter not necessarily does a return carriage. It can do a search or some other fucntion.

Happy 13th Birthday on this Christmas my boy !! Stay inquisitive ...

Curious case of IT ..

This is by far my best interaction with the IT department that is supposed to help through IT issues with office computer, emaling etc.

Some time around end of November, I opened a case -

"I can not decline any meeting from my calendar with a 'comment'". If I am silently deleting it, without any comment to the person who invited me to the meeting, there is no issue. but in case there is a comment (which there should be - otherwise how would the person know why I am declining the meeting ? ) it throws an error and the decline notice does not go away.

-> The first person in IT who was assigned to this (In our company, which has a dream of being #1 IT company in the world -  has IT  outsourced to IBM) tried a few things. Like removing my e-mail account and re-establishing it. It took me 3 hrs to get back my folders etc. And then excused herself saying, as I use a MAC I need to call up another queue.

I tried to explain, this has nothing to with MAC because the error says "HTTP error" and there is no such thing running on MAC to return that error.

Logic does not work with IT dept. She said, she can not help but following up asking, whether she can move the state of the case to "Resolved" state.

-> I tried the same thing, declining a meeting from a web client on a Windows machine, and opened another case. This time was funnier. The person read through the details etc. but wanted to troubleshoot only when I am connected to Wired ethernet network. What crap !! I explained, I can do "HTTP" to the world from wherever I am connected.

Again - logic has no place. She politely asked, if she can move my case to "Resolved" state and before I answered she did.

-> I did a bit more experimentation - removed my calendar delegate / my admin assistant and noticed the problem going away. So, I opened a new case with "Calendar decline with comment does not work from web based interface on any platform, whether I am connected to wired company network or logging in through VPN from outside. It however, works when I remove my delegate from configuration.

This one takes the cake. The third IT Engineer picks up the case, goes through all patiently, politely, then says - OK.. so your problem goes away if you remove your delegate. Can you try that ?

I did it again. removed the delegate and problem went away. She was very happy, and said "Thank God the problem is resolved" and moved the case to "Resolved" state ;)

New Betaal theorem

Goes this way -
" Time can bring relief to everything ... excepting 'boredom' " !

But the moment, I brought this to notice of a few ardent betaalites,  it turned controversial :)

All starting from the very definition of boredom...

 Boredom can mean many things ..

• Not knowing what to do with time ?
• Doing the same thing again and again, and not enjoying it ?
• Getting to do something or be in some place without one's wish ?

And each one of them could be cured with enough time, indeed !

I am going to build this one over, the holidays ! Pretty exciting way to spend the time I say ...

Maid in India ..

I am not any tabloid columnist to comment on the certain IFS officers arrest in the big apple.
However, I am a normal Indian citizen and have all the rights to mock the Indian mentality.

We can arrest an unconventional editor based on a "suo moto" complaint of harassment. 
We can take the post of the retired judge based on "Prima Facie" case of misconduct.

Why can not someone be arrested for far more severe charges of abuse and visa fraud ? Immunity ?

On the same day, when govt. passes a wrapper law enforcer, lokpal, showing a very concerning face of up holding the "Dharma", the same govt. produces "Drama" favoring the govt officer.

Superficial show of strength before election ? Really ? How many common people of India will sympathize with the "have all" vs. the "have none" ? Is a pretty face on TV, being show cased as the victim, the best recipe for "show of strength ? " !!

There has not even been a single statement from the maid every published in the front page of any newspaper. Why ?

There is a lot of inconsistency in this story ! And when in doubt should not we allow the law of the land to follow its course of investigation ?

377 ..

I am not here to provide an opinion in favor of Gay Sex or against it.
However, I am not OK watching the mis-information going around and top news papers (including ToI - Tabloid of India) keeping it in the front page of the news for so long !!!

Long enough for me to comment on it -----

Its very unfashionable NOT to criticize Supreme Court now after the latest ruling criminalizing "unnatural sex".  So, predictably, everyone who wants to show a social face has an easy avenue now to get on the TV or newpaper to say - "its been very very wrong".

I bet my ass (pun intended) on one thing - none of these so called advocates of "Gay Sex" has read exactly what Supreme Court said ! And yes, none of them for sure even have had "gay sex" too ...

Article 377 criminalizes "Unnatural sex" - which include many other verities of immoral stuff !!
Like bestiality, pedophilia, necrophilia and not just sodomy. And it has nothing against Gay. Even if a straight couple engage in "unnatural sex" they can be (sorry not they - the MAN of the couple only ) can be jailed for 10 yrs.

Now, all supreme court did is, said that they are retaining what is there in the constitution as it is. If it has to be ratified, and the correct way of doing it would be to separate out "consensual adult gay sex" as a clause and put  in the acceptable category ! But leave the 377 there with many other unnatural ones there. However the ratification is job of parliament. Not the SC.
So, what did SC do here that politicians are condemning ??? Very twisted really !!!

And the noise is about article 377.. not just "Same Sex consensual bed room activities" which is just a strand of what all it covers.

100 yrs down the line, people will become increasingly lonely. They will have foreplay over a video chat with a call center facility and then have sex with a pet sheep (bestiality). But in the privacy of their bed room ! Consensual.. Sheeps will be developed genetically to be sexier !! Some mythologists will write news paper articles that "its expression of ones freedom. Greeks did this in 14th century.. blah blah blah".

The likes of today's news makers will get on TV and FB to declare, scrap 377 ..all over again as it is Oh So natural to mount a sheep (I know some of you already feel like throwing up now .. !! ) !!

If in our mind, that day would be too much, then we should not completely abolish such a term called "Unnatual Sex" and hence 377. Yes, we can always create a a sub-clause now and make it acceptable. 

So, its not SC. Its not 377. Its somewhere a subset of it, which only law makers can ratify and fix !!!

Give SC a break.. and the politicians who are blaming HC now, should just go prepare something "inclusive" of the LGBT community.

Alignment of Time to "top of mind"

Sorry for being a bit preachy here .. but an amazingly simple tool to keep us stress free and keep moving the top priorities !

What causes majority of the stress at work or at home are, the things one is concerned about does not happen the way he / she wants it.

At work - it can be lack of nimble work plans or sub-optimal orgs ! Which bothers one ... but no real fundamental change happens.

At home it may be kids sincerity towards education, your family's eating habit, your own fitness level ? it can be many things in various order, which are top of mind, but always remain so.

I have been lately experimenting with an ultra simple tool. A simple table that I produce and note down end of the week, what were my priorities vs. how many hours I dedicated towards that.

Now that our lives are so driven by calendars, it is easy to put them together on a Sunday evening.

And surprisingly, initial few weeks the Topic vs. Time spent was not very coherent. The top most priority did not demand and get maximum number of hours. Alignment was sub-optimal at best.

So the top priority never went away, mind kept procrastinating around it, while hoping for it to miraculously vanish. Fact that nothing really is being done, it stays, becomes chronic and causes stress and lack of productivity.

Simple really - Topic in order of Priority vs. Time dedicated to it. A simple table, once a week can create that awareness to address the root of many issue :)

Toll vs. QoS

Its very common in rural / sub-urban Odisha to see groups of kids, blocking the road and extorting money from motorists. Extortion may be too harsh a word as, this happens primarily around Dushera / Diwali and ideally the money raised should go towards the festivities of that area.

However, like in any other org one can think off, the money does not always go to the "puja" ! A bunch of adolescent finds a few days of alcohol ! So, government have made certain regulations around not blocking the road and collecting money.

However, as we headed to a small temple 50kms away from the City, a small town on the way had an interesting set up in the main crowded part. Few vehicles blocking the ONLY way to go across the town. While stuck in that mess, a good Samaritan walks to the car window, and offers an advice.

"This road has bad traffic today. It will take you 1 hr to cross this town. Why do not you take a right and take the road in front of the village school that by-passes the jam ?"

Then he, helps in that right jam, to reverse our direction and divert in to the bypass. We thanked him, took some land marks and went on,,, it was a scenic green road, which was clear.

Until we got road blocked for extortion that to ; ) Toll for better quality transport !! What a neat arrangement to move this activity to a side road, little bit more hidden from the glaring eyes .. indeed !!! 

Corporate Lay Offs

Not something I would have put down on my blog .. however, this farewell mail, following a lay off, from a long time colleague was unique. While it has the undertone of Shock (why us ?), helplessness, bitterness towards the company policies - it also has a "specific ask" to the recipients of the mails. Asking to help in social media to find a further job ! And it also shows, while our current work place has become very very unpredictable, we remain very less prepared for these shocking events !

Its an increasing reality, that lay off can happen to any one of us, not based on performance, or tenure in a particular work place.

Of course I ll be changing names in the content below..

Friends and Colleagues;

After a combined 32+ years here, my wife, Kate, & I are both impacted by company “Limited Restructuring” and our positions are eliminated.  Given this unexpected and shocking turn of events, we are writing to ask you to help our family.  Please make some time to connect with us via “LinkedIn” and then please carve out time to write a recommendation and/or endorse us for skills and expertise.  It has been a long time since we looked for work externally and the outplacement team has explained that it’s important to have a current profile, including detailed reviews/endorsements.  Until this time, we have really just accepted requests but, now actively using this as a job search tool, we would appreciate detailed recommendations and specific endorsements for:

Pete – "a list"

Kate – "Another List"

Clearly, with two young children to support, it’s especially important to restore income to our family and secure comprehensive and reasonably-priced health insurance – especially before our daughter’s next MRI is required …or something unthinkable happens.

We appreciate you keeping us in mind for external positions that you think would be a good fit.  We both believe that our next roles will come as a direct result of you connecting us with your extended networks.

Friday is our last official day at current place and we will lose email access early on in the day, Eastern Time.  The best way to reach us is via LinkedIn or on our cell phones.  As with Oscar speeches, we likely have inadvertently omitted someone from this email.  It is stunning how many people we have had the opportunity to work with over a combined 32+ years of service here.

Thank you for your help and support for our family.

Goodbye, farewell & Amen

Pete & Kate

We are racists ..

Here is the proof point for Indians being real racists.. ! An MNC product company selling its high tech gear in India, had an Indian as the Sales Chief for the region. The sales were no where close to eye-catching. Revenue from the region, which is supposed to be growing economy was abysmal.

Then the company, makes a quick move. Fires the sales lead, puts an expat white guy in the same position. The white guy now goes and talks to the customers, and the sales have doubled !!

We are racists in a self diminishing way !! Even after 67 yrs of independence from White people.

Transition .....

I think I ve been kind of waiting for this moment secretly !!

Today in a father-son tennis match, the 12 yr old raced ahead to convincing win in less that 45 mins of game.

I certainly did not have answer to some of his strokes.

This is one loss that makes me happy :) A milestone in a way of giving in to younger ones. 

religious integration !

For great tasting mutton kebabs ;)

Of "money" and "things" ..

Here is a true Betaal story, for the Vikramaditya's of the world.

One of my dear friends, who is settled in  USA for more than 15 yr now, was chatting with me.
And thus goes the story - around kids and their B'Day parties.

One of her daughter's friends (sub-10 yr olds) invited them for B'day party.  Out of courtesy she asked, is there a particular thing the boy would like as gift ?

The mom of the b'day boy answers, "No. My boy has set his eye on a specific very expensive toy. And we are asking all our guests to pay cash instead. How much would you like to contribute towards it ?"

It was a bit of shock for my friend. How can some one ask for cash openly ? She was new to the concept of "Fundraising Kids B'day party".

If that expensive toy needs to be given to the boy, is this through this means ? On the other hand whats wrong ? We give gift cards some time, which is "cash" in a way.  What if the toy becomes 10 percent costlier ? Will they invite 10% more people to the party ?

My friends comes home and asked her kid, "If you want that expensive toy for your B'Day, would you prefer NOT having a B'Day party and save the money and buy that thing instead?". The lil girl said honestly - "I would prefer the toy, even if it means we have no party and guest coming over for my b'day".

This brings much deeper questions to Betaal's mind. In both cases, little kids are more desiring the "Objects" than the fun of having their friends around ! In one case, it is being blatantly planted in to their head by parents innovations (Fundraisers B'Days) ! In other case, the kid is much more honest that she has to give up something to get something, but chooses to get the THING.

In my mind, an old fashioned one,  having guests over for any reason other than enjoying their company, is a social crime. In the first case, there is an financial agenda in inviting the guests to the party. In the second case, which is much more noble deal between mom and daughter, there is a painful confession that even kids starting to love the objects than their own B'day parties !


 

Writing own "Obituary"

During the last exec coaching sessions, my coach assigned me a rather jarring assignment.

To write my own "Obituary". And that came after hours of probing on "What I a want to be known for?".

Tough - the same question used to be "What I want to be ?" For someone, who has never really had an "Ambition in normal sense", the question was tough to answer in a corporate sense.

Actually, corporate ladder growth has never been on my ToDo list.  However, ambition like, remain healthy, enjoy simple things of life, be a harmless and likable person over all.

So, finally this assignment comes around. Write your own "Obituary" in less than 200 words. Its a very nice way of getting out some concise answer to "What you want to be known for?".

Thanks Coach !!

The Cancer Diary: Finds its own place away from Betaal Gyan

Took some time to move the "Journal of Cancer" to its own blog space.

The Cancer Diary     <<< Click here to go to the blog

if you typing in the URL :

http://thecancerjournal.blogspot.in/


Content  so far has been moved and all new content goes there directly.  Just to keep all content related to this phase of my life together. Betaal Gyan will continue with its own theme !

Humbling ! Truly humbling !!

The diagnosis has brought in ample "humility" along with the usual rest-of-it, that it comes with.

We have no control.

Being proud of things one does right .. not the pride that comes across as boasting or arrogance, but more affably preachy types.

-  Take care of your health.
-  If you do not find time for exercise, you ll find time for falling sick
etc. All that lil pleasures of advising, caring with self at the center, as an example. No point really !

All that - "Stay cool.. and you are not in control of future" ! - better said than done.

That sense of satisfaction in providing for the family, the sense of accomplishment in being a useful employee - all that creates a small sense of pride inside. Somewhere. Over a period of time.

And then, all that comes crashing down .. making one believe "really!! You take credit for that ?, can you sustain it ?"

Its been a very humbling lesson indeed !

A true *test* ?

In India, the students pursuing computer science, want to be developers when they come out of school and enter their dream IT companies. The formal education, curriculum around testing and validation has evolved just a bit, in last 20 years. The project work even the masters do, all focused on churning some leveraged code, which can not stand the test of productization, field usage even for a day.

So, today we were trying out an experiment to boost our luck of hiring young talented engineers motivated about test. The experiment had all the known pitfalls addressed.

Masters only, so no attrition after 2 yrs for higher study. M.Techs means MBA vs. MS ambiguity is over. Compensation is good. It was clearly marketed as network testing role, so people who are truly interested would come for it. Campus season is over, and all of them are placed. So, only when truly interested in this company, they will come to the test. - That was the thought !

So, 250+ students wrote the test, 45 selected for interview, and 19 cleared the interview for 8 positions available.

So, as a tie breaker, we went to the "team work" test round. Single, large problem to be solved by a larger group, while observers watch their approach, who takes the lead, who provides clues, who helps others, who leverages others - all that.

And, one group was "Strong Hires" from tech rounds, and the other batch "Hires" !

Interestingly I found the "Strong Hire" side was all over each other, making a point each - thinking like "Developers". While the "Strong" batch was more civil in discussing the problem, and coming somewhat to a decent solution, and thinking more fundamentally correct way.

Question it - were those "Strong Hires" from technical interview rounds all "faked" during the interview about being "passionate" about test ?

Will know, only after they join and see them work for some time :)

Training the "sub-conscious"

So many behaviors are part of our subconscious. And any one of them we need to change, we have to consciously work on it for weeks, months, years - as part of a plan !

Some change for good. Most don't. The moment the plan is over, the subconscious programming takes over. 

So, what is the effective way of training sub-conscious ? If a food pattern needs to be strictly followed, consciously - it becomes a "diet plan". And comes with a shelf life !

Any set of tough actions put in form of a plan to follow, works against the basic core nature of the living adults, the freedom !! And hence fails.

So, here is a middle path I am currently experimenting with.

"Just Watch but take no action".

What is my morning weight ? Did I lose temper any day ? Did I spend 1 hr in some form of sports or physical activity ? Simple parameters to watch in coded, compact way.

Just a daily note of gibberish that looks like MW=x, A=0, WO=1 etc. in a journal.

But no specific action or plan kicks in if MW is above a mark or below a mark. If A becomes > 0.
No plan. Just watch and document.

And month after month, I see the cumulative numbers are automatically coming closer to what the ideal values should be.

And because I am not doing any thing, I would not go back to anything !!

Perception - Why does it take so long to change ?

Ever wondered why others perception about you, persists for years even after you have "changed" you behavior ?

Very commonly found in families, organizations !!

 "Oh .. Him ?? He does not have respect for process. He is a maverick" !
".. no ! Don't invite him to the marriage. He drinks before coming in and not sure what he will do".
"You can hire this engineer, however he is a slow learner. I used to work with him in 2003".

Some snippets of opinion's about people. Over a period of time, people adopt new behaviors, learn. The core nature may not change, but externally visible behaviors, habits etc do change. But the brand of the person lingers on many years post the person shed his old skin.


So, why does it happen ? Pondering in to finding a mathematical formula, this is what I come up with (and already used in a coaching session).

When a person, cares about certain feedback, takes it seriously - he changes. He takes say 1 week to change that habit / behavior. That one week, the maximum time any one stayed with him, is he himself.

People around him, who holds that perception also need 1 weeks worth of exposure to the new behavior. But how much time they get exposed to him in a week ? 1 hr ? Then it will take them 3 yrs (24x7 hrs @ 1hr a week - converted to weeks and then to years)  to change the perception and adopt to new you.

Agree, its more complex than the super simplistic math I ve provided. 

But, I think I found the answer to the young coachee who was asking me - "How do I get rid of the old perception of "me" in the team ? "

Expose new YOU more, more time ! Over communicate ! Over display the new behavior and the change. The more, the sooner the perception will go away (and new ones will be created of course !!)