Ever wondered why others perception about you, persists for years even after you have "changed" you behavior ?
Very commonly found in families, organizations !!
"Oh .. Him ?? He does not have respect for process. He is a maverick" !
".. no ! Don't invite him to the marriage. He drinks before coming in and not sure what he will do".
"You can hire this engineer, however he is a slow learner. I used to work with him in 2003".
Some snippets of opinion's about people. Over a period of time, people adopt new behaviors, learn. The core nature may not change, but externally visible behaviors, habits etc do change. But the brand of the person lingers on many years post the person shed his old skin.
So, why does it happen ? Pondering in to finding a mathematical formula, this is what I come up with (and already used in a coaching session).
When a person, cares about certain feedback, takes it seriously - he changes. He takes say 1 week to change that habit / behavior. That one week, the maximum time any one stayed with him, is he himself.
People around him, who holds that perception also need 1 weeks worth of exposure to the new behavior. But how much time they get exposed to him in a week ? 1 hr ? Then it will take them 3 yrs (24x7 hrs @ 1hr a week - converted to weeks and then to years) to change the perception and adopt to new you.
Agree, its more complex than the super simplistic math I ve provided.
But, I think I found the answer to the young coachee who was asking me - "How do I get rid of the old perception of "me" in the team ? "
Expose new YOU more, more time ! Over communicate ! Over display the new behavior and the change. The more, the sooner the perception will go away (and new ones will be created of course !!)
Very commonly found in families, organizations !!
"Oh .. Him ?? He does not have respect for process. He is a maverick" !
".. no ! Don't invite him to the marriage. He drinks before coming in and not sure what he will do".
"You can hire this engineer, however he is a slow learner. I used to work with him in 2003".
Some snippets of opinion's about people. Over a period of time, people adopt new behaviors, learn. The core nature may not change, but externally visible behaviors, habits etc do change. But the brand of the person lingers on many years post the person shed his old skin.
So, why does it happen ? Pondering in to finding a mathematical formula, this is what I come up with (and already used in a coaching session).
When a person, cares about certain feedback, takes it seriously - he changes. He takes say 1 week to change that habit / behavior. That one week, the maximum time any one stayed with him, is he himself.
People around him, who holds that perception also need 1 weeks worth of exposure to the new behavior. But how much time they get exposed to him in a week ? 1 hr ? Then it will take them 3 yrs (24x7 hrs @ 1hr a week - converted to weeks and then to years) to change the perception and adopt to new you.
Agree, its more complex than the super simplistic math I ve provided.
But, I think I found the answer to the young coachee who was asking me - "How do I get rid of the old perception of "me" in the team ? "
Expose new YOU more, more time ! Over communicate ! Over display the new behavior and the change. The more, the sooner the perception will go away (and new ones will be created of course !!)
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1 comment:
Ahh, good lesson - I think I still carry decent baggage of perception around ..
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