Monday, June 14, 2010

THE Loss !!!

Returning to blogging after a long  while ... but the time was worth spent beside  my ailing father in his last days, followed by his death and the Hindu rituals there after that lasts 13 days.

Just when I was starting the believe that I ve control over my emotions, thoughts - I was proven wrong ! Seriously wrong.

He has been ailing for a while, and one after another body functions were slowly giving up !

A long painful process to watch, let alone go through, eventually comatose, moving to supported life and then death.

So, in that sense it was not any where close to an "un-expected" / "un-timely" death.
It was coming, slowly yet surely ! We all knew it.

In fact, I thought its good in a way ... as it wont shock us !

But, I was wrong. No matter how anticipated it was, the moment doctor said, he is "no more" there was an overwhelming sense of loss. A dreadful void in life ... !

A collage of flashback memories ... !!  And those accumulated moments of guilt, where as a child I failed him in my life.

Its certainly a LOSS that is a chapter in itself in ones life.

What followed the death is 13 days of Hindu rituals (Kriya Karma). I am going to blog about the rituals in details, and hope you wont need to read/know these ever.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Bibs,
I like to believe that when we lose someone close to us they still live through us
and give us strength. The time we have spent with those we've lost makes them part of us.
My condolences,
Archana

redpassion said...

tears in my eyes were in abandon when i read your blogs & sensed the deep loss you have gone through. Perhaps this inevitable thing is hovering around all of us of our age.

anyways, accept my profound grief.

neeraj