Cursing - As a profession

The department I work in, has a full time employee (called a program manager) specializing in "cursing" "swearing" and plain "screaming", twice everyday at 400 engineers. Full time regular employee on the pay roll !

His e-mails would have generous portions of exclamation marks.

All CAPS phrases like - "HOT and URGENT !!". "YOUR TEAMS NUMBERS ARE PATHETIC", "LEARN TO HONOR YOUR COMMITMENT" etc.

Everyone is used to that and its amusing to see that deliverables starving because of plain old "procrastination" do move by those ALL CAPs e-mails.

It feels things do move because of this continuous push ! This persons job is not to understand what is blocking the deliverables. Just take all that was due for that day and send those BIG nasty e-mails. Un-emotionally ! That's his job and he does it right.

This reminds me one annual incident as a child. There is a big festival every July in the part of country where I grew up, where Lord Jagarnath comes out of temple with his brother and sister in chariots pulled by devotees.

And on the chariot there will be a "curser". He would continuously be using foul, nasty, vulgar, cheap (cheaply funny !) two-liners ! Very very loudly.

And if he stops, the devotees would stop pulling the chariot. The language that can never be used legally in social circles and in office space without being fired !

I even asked my father once, why this guy stands on the chariots and spits out such vulgarity in such an auspicious day ? His answer was simple, - "To see where your mind is - in the two-liners or on God". I believed it then.

But after looking at our program manager pushing deliverables using ALL CAPS e-mails, I think his job was actually to get massive chariots pulled few kilometers by mortals.

Is this fair ?

Vicky lives in an apartment complex, where an old man comes to work. His work is "ironing". He collects all the clothes in the morning, irons them in the basement, returns them in the evening.

That's the only way to make his ends meet. A man from the neighboring state.

And one day he stops coming ! Which is OK. That extended to an week. Now residents became restless. They were getting some paid service right under their nose, which is gone now.

And there is no way to contact this person, to ask what has happened. No one cared to keep a contact number.

One more week goes by !

Then Vicky, sent the security guard to the near by village where the "ironing man" used to live. The person went there and found out the old man is sick, with some mental disease, and is in a mental asylum. He has been moved to his native state to be taken care of by few kins.

4 more weeks go by. The consumers (residents) start flooding the housing alias with inconvenience caused by his absence.

Vicky, went to village, found another young man who does "ironing". His only condition to come do the job in a free real-easte with guaranteed customer base was that - "If the old guy comes back, we would not throw him out. He needs to have a permanent job and not a temporary one."

Granted ! After all 2 months have gone by and there is no way to find the old guy and figure out if he would be able to comeback.

The new guy does a good job. Settles in. Two more weeks go by ! Residents happy again.

Then the old guy shows up ! Become more fragile. And still looking a lil unstable in his thoughts. And wants the job back. With him a few kids, looking distressed and in need of a living.

And the same residents who enjoy the service, they all pointed him to "Vicky". Go talk to him if you can get your job back. Now, "Vicky" is in tough spot.

One side a shaken old man with no living... on other side another young man who just got some foreseeable roadmap of hope !

And in this "Dharamsankat" no other resident is willing to emotionally standby Vicky to help him make a decision.

So, Vicky finally took his own and sent the Old man home. Quite emotional ambiance there.

Vicky, in search of solace, went to the trusted adviser "Betaal". Asked if what he did was right.

Betaal says - "Vicky ! These decisions are not measured with metrics consisting of "right"/"wrong". These are measured with a parameter called "appropriate" from your scope of duty's prospective. Think again now. And you ll have some peace."

E.Q.

My kid love his cubes.. Rubik's cubes. 3x3, 4x4. His favorite pass time is fixing them, messing them up again and fixing them again. And measuring how fast he gets doing this.

At this age, during this phase, those cubes are the most prized possession he has. Everything else, comes later.

So, yesterday after the weather cleared up after many days, we were going to the tennis court. And en-route he was busy in the car, doing his cube.

When we reached the tennis ground, he left the cube in the car, picked up his racket and went to play.

When he came back, he immediately said, there is one yellow piece sticker someone has removed and exchanged with one of the White ones. I thought, impossible ! How can even someone find out in a jumbled cube ? He was positive. And as predictable, he threw an tantrum, asking for a new one right away etc. Very upset.

I asked - the car was locked. All of us were playing for the same time. Only driver in the car waiting for us. And do not think he will touch the rubik's cube.

But he was confident, it was physically tampered.

So, finally he asked the driver, - "Did you change it ? ". And the driver said, yes, he was curious.

All of a sudden, the his tantrum was down. Just to test him, I asked my kid - "If you want, I can recover the money for the cube from the drivers salary." And he immediately said - "No need ! Anyway I know how to fix it. I do not want a cube. Don't cut any money from his salary. And in fact he was very apologetic."

That was a great sign of E.Q. for the young guy !

Isolated events ?? Huh !!!

I do not want to undermine the right to protest for some injustice being done.
But looks like the free market is giving in to to socialism, errr... almost to the
comminism !

With the global recession, a lot of industry maturing pain points are exposed.
Like no across the board salary hikes, cut in the variable pay, curb on the promotions
etc.

In a free market, what should happen ? Seeking equilibrium, people would move to
where the jobs are and the money is. Simple !

This is fundamentally a great leveler. Now look what human intervention to natures law of equilibrium can do !


- Jet Airways making huge losses, cutting variable pay ! Pilot take down most
flights. Company makes more loss in 5 days that it would normally do in a
quarter.

- Almost as if it is planned govt. bail out plan, AI pilots launch a strike
right after the Jet Airways. Allowing, Jet airways to hike up price by 200%.
Making up for the loss Jet incurred in 3 days ???

- Kingfisher, another leading airline making enough loss, a partner of Jet, jacking up
prices on both the prior occasions.

Now, two private airlines making up for their losses, with whose money ?
AIs. Govt. Tax payers money. Its like tax money have become the IPO money now.

Tough to believe the strikes are not planned in isolation !!

The fort you built is your prison !!

Worried Vicky storms in to Betaal's office !

He has taken enough amount of pain over last few years building a solid team and a big team. And that was the need of the hour !!

Now, that teams charter is eroding as the team is becoming more efficient in doing the stuff and business not growing that fast during the recession time.

Enters another leader to the scene who is exactly at the same place Vicky was 3 years ago. Has a small team, has a road map to scale but have not capability to grow the numbers. No hiring !!!

And his focus is on getting few from Vicky's team, ready-made experts and kick start his team on the path to growth. He has made 1 or 2 attempts already and successfully so.

That worries Vicky and bring him to Betaal for brainstorming.

Betaal listens through and tell - "One builds a fort to be safe from external dangers. These are impregnable architectures with water ways surrounding them. Big iron gates. Completely guarded and cordoned of the external world.

Now, if the danger goes away the very same fort one builds becomes his / her prison. "

Betaal tell Vicky - "Go ahead collaborate with this new leader and free yourself from the prison. You both will grow ! "

Statistics ...

Betaal moved with his infamous smirk on his face to Vicky's office.
There was a test on his head ! For sure and he knew Vicky this time will flunk !

Betaal - "How you doing Vicky ? Long time no see".

Vicky - "Could be better. A lot of engineers calling in Sick this Friday. I can not understand what is that on a Friday one would fall sick ? I am convinced 99% of them are healthy and just making it a long weekend by calling in sick. And with media reporting H1N1 at this rate, no one can really question it. One never knows if someone is really sick. But productivity and deadlines taking hit."

Betaal - "Good Vicky ! I have a story for you. Let me know what would you do in this case. And I am sure you would do the right thing"

The story goes like this -

"A modern busy executive with family and kids, employed a driver to help with household chores. The driver has a weekly off day, Sunday. One Saturday morning he called in saying his mom is doing some Puja and he needs a days off.

The next Monday he called in to say he is sick.

A week later he called in saying his grandfather died and needs the Saturday off and Monday too. All within a span of one and half months. "

Vicky ! What is your take ? Is the driver telling truth ? He can fall sick, he can lose an elderly relative and has to be there with family mourning. He has to be part of family celebrations too. Should the executive continue to keep him on job ? He has no way to verify all these things. And firing a help over seemingly natural and plausible reasons is not humane. What should he do ?

Vicky did not have to do a lot of thinking. He said - "The driver should be fired. Just because of one fact. The death of grandfather. This is 99.9% of time an excuse used by helps. And if he is fired for telling lies to take off most of the days, the executive would be 99.9% right. And 0.01% wrong. Simple statistics says that this is a lie"

Betaal - "But what if he is not telling a lie ? The guys entire living comes from driving his employers family around".

Vicky - "Yeah ! There is a slim chance of that. Very slim".

Mourning through work

I ve nothing against the fallen hero of Andhra Pradesh (YSR).
Mainly because I do not know him. Not known his work and never lived
in the state he has administered.

Nevertheless, I trust the media outcry, and truly mourn the
loss.

But here comes the sad part. The govt. in this neighboring state
declared holiday for govt. offices as well as schools on a
Friday.

Which is supposed to be a very eventful day for the teachers.
In India it is celebrated as "Teachers Day". I grew up chanting in chorus
with other calss mates "guru bramha guru vishnu gurudeva maheshwara" on this
day. And speaking up in the assembly about the life and work of
Dr. Radhakrishnan.

With the evolving time, last year, the teachers of my LKG going kid, had a
fun day where they presented Bollywood dance numbers to a auditorium full of
4 yr olds and their parents. Fun and full of activities.

This year, none of that. All preparation went in vein because YSR is dead.

And Govt. employees got one holiday to mourn.

Now, this reminds me the events at Toyota in Japan in early nineties.
When the labor union and management could not come to a conclusion on wages
after a long strike, the saddened laborers took up a strikingly the different
approach.

Instead of "idling" to bleed the profit of the company, they decided to
work long long hours and build up inventory so much that, the prices of the
product dropped and created pressure on the management.

That was some counter thinking and act of "expressing sadness through work".

And here we are stuck to doing it by NOT doing work.

Can we switch to mourn / express our humanly emotions of displeasure by working more
than required for a change ? Even if it means dancing to Bollywood numbers and not
chanting "Guru Bramha ... " !